More like, Enchanted Arse. See? That's funny. But I'm crying on the inside.

[slimequest]

Imagine an RPG where the main character has to choose from multiple answers to a question... and they're all wrong.

His best friend is a hilarious gay stereotype who plays the trumpet in battle, wears more makeup than all the female characters combined, and desperately wants to fuck their mutual (male) friend who is the only normal person in the game. I just described the best character to you, by the way, so keep those expectations DOWN where I can see them.

Did I mention the main character mispronounces his gay buddies' name wrong most of the time? As well as the name of his hometown?

The most appealing party members aren't the ugly, boring main characters (besides the gay one), but the random robots you can construct. They speak "Golem-ese" or, as we call it here in the real world "Japanese, because they were too lazy to re-dub them".

This RPG is called Enchanted Arms. It was my first PS3 game, which is actually a port of the 360 version. What got added in the PS3 version? A minigame where you dance, whenever you want, at random, which fills up your special attack gauge. Some of the protagonist's dance moves include "shampooing my hair" and "stabbing the air with my penis".

The battle system is a hybrid of strategy RPG and regular RPG, but all that does is draw out the battles even longer than they would normally be. Some INAPPROPRIATELY EPIC BATTLE MUSIC PLAYS as my little girl maid robot thing shoots a giant pizza robot (no, REALLY), repeat this over and over again. This sounds cool, but trust me, this game can even mess THAT up.

X-Play's review gives you a good idea about how... unique this game is. The voice acting samples mixed with the dancing footage creates a unique failure milkshake that is unparalleled in the gaming world.

I really do think Atsuma is probably the worst RPG hero ever, which is saying A LOT, and I've played less than 10 hours of this game. It's an amusing trainwreck of a game to play through, but I'm thinking even Tidus would say "geez dude, get yourself together".

And yet, I'm thinking of playing it some more this weekend. Someone help me.

Comments

[crystalcattail.livejournal.com]

This is my only game so far for the PS3, but I haven't started it yet. Sounds like I'm in for quite the ...experience.

[slimequest.livejournal.com]

Hi there, Enchanted-Arms-as-your-first-PS3-game-buddy! We should form a club or... something. Or at least add each other as friends on our PS3s! My name on there is slimequest, go figure.

Did you manage to get it for $20? Because I think that's what the price is supposed to be, but I've seen it going for more as well.

I think you'll be amused by it, at the very least. I might make it sound awful but it really isn't BAD so much as hilariously kind-of-okay. Maybe once I get into it more I'll find it's not so bad... but there's no denying Atsuma's ineptitude or the giant pizza robots that nobody seems to find creepy.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

I really do think Atsuma is probably the worst RPG hero ever, which is saying A LOT

...


MY GOD.

I can't even comprehend how horrible he must be.

This is the second time today I've been forced to pull out this icon unironically.

[slimequest.livejournal.com]

Again, if he is literally incapable of answering certain questions correctly, that puts him in a position of unrivaled badness. I don't think he even understands what's going on in the game, and all his dialog serves to do is infuriate other people to the point of getting things done for him.

He makes me miss silent protagonists.

[alice-curiouser.livejournal.com]

September 17.
September 17.
September 17.

It's my new gaming mantra.

[slimequest.livejournal.com]

I'm really excited! I actually got to the final dungeon (or close to it) on the NES version but never beat it, so I'm going all the way this time! I'm also craving playing a Dragon Quest game right now, but I'll see if I can wait until then and let it all out xD;

[alice-curiouser.livejournal.com]

I've never played 4, except to mess with the Japanese ROM and go, "shit, I can't read Japanese!"... I am playing 3 (Gameboy) now in preparation; it's a lot harder than I remember, and the level-grinding is taking FOREVER. I'm looking forward to those DS graphics again.

[slimequest.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the leap from Gameboy Color to DS graphics should be quite a trip!

4 is pretty awesome, you get to choose your main character's gender like in 3 and the whole game is so epic. I'm actually looking forward to 5 coming out here most of all, but getting to play through 4 again with nicer graphics and portability will be a treat.

I think I mostly found places that metal babble slimes appeared and beat them over and over again to levelgrind in 3, it seemed to work for me. I recall the cave that you fight Orochi in having them, but there might be better places.

[alice-curiouser.livejournal.com]

The top floor of Garuna Tower has quite a few metal slimes; I go in there and try to kill a few. I've not seen Metabbles yet at all. I think they're in Soo, and I'm still trying to make it through Gondo Cave... I'm supposed to battle Baramos, but I keep getting my ass kicked before I get there. lol

[crystalcattail.livejournal.com]

I'll definitely add you, once I figure out how it works :)

I bought the game for about $25 new on Amazon, plus shipping. I didn't know that it went for $20 in stores until now.

Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing for myself! Especially some of the outlandish characters.

[partical-boi.livejournal.com]

I don't think I have told you enough, or told you at all, just how much I love reading your entries.

I have come so close to buying this game on numerous occasions for my xBox360 but like you, I also have COUNTLESS games that I have yet to finish. They are all great games too, like the World Ends With You, Final Fantasy Tactics A2 and all the Phoenix Wright sequels. And god help me, I even enjoy Revenant Wings. But when they are all out of the picture, this game shall be mine.

[slimequest.livejournal.com]

Aww, it's nice to be appreciated :3

The only negative side of the 360 version is NO DANCING! But you'll get all the other experiences, whether you like it or not.

I need to make more headway in Revenant Wings, I haven't gotten very far but I do like it so far. I'm currently working on Phoenix Wright 3 and The World Ends With You as well, and I'm waiting on FFTA2 until I finish off all those games!

[bluegummybear.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I think you got me at "stabbing the air with my penis."

I think I shall get this.

[slimequest.livejournal.com]

That one always gets 'em~